Writing 125: Women and Memoir
Wellesley College
2.15.95
- by Janet Si-Ming Lee
My index finger traces along
the cool silver edges of the barrette, mindlessly, stroking the smooth
round backs of the curled-in waves along its perimeter. Except for the
the occasional dull points jutting
forth along the edges, nothing disturbs my inner thoughts as I gaze
out my window.
As my finger tenderly caresses the surface of the
barrette, I look down, staring intently at the barrette's ornate design,
noting the tousled silver curls undulating restlessly. Yet,
upon careful observation of this squirming lake of waves, there
persists a definite symmetrical pattern of repetitions vertically and
horizontally. The barrette is longer lengthwise with a red oval disk
at its center. The disk, coated with a smooth, clear, glossy plastic,
resembles a woman's fingernail painted over with a lustrous, red
fingernail polish.
Glints of light reflect off the crimsom plastic defining the golden
outline and the inner details of each rose petal. One can not help but
notice that the red plastic coating is chipped at the bottom where my
younger sister had dropped the barrette one day, baring a coppery-golden
metal with fine, raised edges of the rose etching underneath. At
times, I wondered randomly how it was that glints of the light
reflecting off the plastic allowed the outlines of the rose etching to
be seen, until the plastic was chipped did I
realize how it was that the rose could be seen.
As I again brush the edges of the
silver barrette, memories of a dream that I had resurface. It was
a dream where I was given this same barrette by someone I could not
see and I had examined this barrette carefully, noting the rose etching
at the center. I remember turning the barrette on its back and I had
thought it was a pin because of its long, needle-like clasp at the
back. Later that year, during the summer, my uncle gave me the barrette
that looked like the pin in my dream. As I idly continue to finger
the perimeter of my barrette, I am reminded that I am one who lives
her life on the edges of reality, absorbed in a surreal world where
destiny meets the mystery of the inexplicable down the winding path of
dreams.
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